My Gold Bullion is Really Chicken Bullion

When I was young, I told my friend that I had buried treasure in my backyard. I wanted to be more exciting than I really was. Who would be my friend if they knew how boring I was, if they new that the only thing buried in my backyard was doggie doo?
Now I’m an adult, and it’s still a struggle for me to let other people know who I really am. I find myself trying to glorify myself, and present the exciting side of me. I rarely mention the things that are “buried in my backyard” because the things I am hiding are not treasure, they are sins.

“The essence of legalism is trusting in the religious activity rather than trusting in God. It is putting our confidence in a practice rather than a Person. And without fail this will lead us to love the practice more than the person” -Jack Deer

“for my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.” Jeremiah 2:13

I spend my time practicing perfection.
I look to my good behavior to save myself, I am my own savior. It’s tragic to face my sin, it means failure, it means I will have no followers. I want followers, they tell me I’m good. I hide my sin in the closet, and put on my happy face. This is not Christianity. It is a broken cistern. It is my own religion, made to glorify myself.
This week I have experienced God loving me when I have been unlovable. He has taken the broken ugliness of my heart as an acceptable sacrifice. He did not despise me in my repentance.
This week, I will remember:
“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
-2 Corinthians 12:9-10

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” -Psalm 51:17

Lord, help me to seek Your glory and not my own. You alone are worthy. Thank you for Your grace that forgives my sins, and welcomes me with open arms when I confess. Thank you that you take my weakness and make it for Your glory.
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