Once there was a white station wagon, circa 1980’s. It’s name was “The Cressida”. It’s speakers were wired wrong: you could hear the radio perfectly outside of the car. Inside the car, you needed to turn the speakers up to 11 just to hear the chorus. My theory is they were wired backwards.
Enter High School Girl. She loves her wagon even though she has to fill the radiator up with water everyday before school. She loves it even though it doesn’t have power steering, making it practically impossible to do a three point turn. The electric blue seats call to her.
Enter High School Girl’s Little Sister. It’s her first day of high school. A day of nerves, first impressions. You know. Petrifying.
Enter The Music Man soundtrack.
As The Cressida pulls into the school parking lot, Little Sister notices all the cute older senior boys are looking at her. She wants to disappear into the electric blue seats. But first, she wants to wrap her older sister up in a seat belt and leave her there for all eternity. Or something like that.
High School Girl is BLASTING “The Wells Fargo Wagon” from the Music Man
Everyone is turning to look at The-Cressida-that-proclaims-it’s-arrival-with-a-campy-show tune, and the new freshman in the passenger seat. High School Girl is laughing, partially because the song is funny, partially because she is enjoying herself.
Dear Little Sister,
Even though it is still really funny, I am sorry. Now that I am older and wiser, I realize what a difficult entrance that must have been for you. I hope you can see the subtle irony in the fact that, as I write this, you are driving a white station wagon of your own.
Your Big Sis