"Preservatives and Perseverance" or "How I Almost Went Crazy"

To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. ~Emily Dickinson

I just licked my computer mouse.
Wait, before you judge me, let me explain. I was licking it to get the ketchup that got onto it while I was eating french fries and goofing off on the Internet.
WAIT! Let me explain. I just got back from being in Urgent Care for two hours during lunch AND nap time with two kids under two who were hungry/tired. Mommy was hungry/tired as well. We were all stuck in a small room, surrounded by sickies, forced to watch soap operas. It was everything we could do to keep from melting down, and the pressure overtook some of us.
It all started at the zoo. A nice sunny day, full of prospect. We packed ourselves up to go to the zoo, and see TIGERS! ELEPHANTS! FLAMINGOS! Halfway there I realized I had forgotten Sheldon’s stroller. Not to worry, I told myself, I can rent a wagon for 7 dollars.
Once we reached the zoo, the sun had turned to fog. It was chilly, and I had been overly optimistic about Spring having sprung, so Q was wearing shorts. On closer inspection, the shorts were very short, on account of being leftovers from last summer. Kids and their growth spurts! Now he looked like a kid from the VonTrapp family. I wanted to take a picture, but my camera battery was dead.
We started to walk to the gate when Q started to limp and fuss and generally flail about. It hurt to walk. Not to be deterred (my motto is “I THINK I CAN!” or “We’ve passed the Point of No Return AHAHAHaahahaah“) (If you don’t like Phantom of the Opera, you won’t get that last one) we kept going and made it to the elephants. Then we realized that Q wasn’t going to make it. He wasn’t capable of walking without almost collapsing. My motto quickly changed to “Freak OUT!” and I whisked everyone home.
Long story short, the Dr. was booked. We went to Urgent Care. We sat and we sat and we sat. Sheldon screamed. I fed him. Q kept asking, “When’s my turn?”. He decided that spitting would be a good way to pass the time. Two soap operas, three time-outs, numerous threats, countless scream sessions, about 70 rice puffs later, it was our turn. Q has Hand, Foot and Mouth virus. It’s extremely contagious. It gives you a rash on your feet, which can make it painful to walk.
There is nothing you can do about it.
So here I am. My motto is “Whatever Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger.” This motto applies to the junk food I’m eating, and the electronics I am licking.
God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny. ~Garrison Keillor

(…if only crazy Uncle Johnny was a real Dr., all this might have been avoided…)

3 thoughts on “"Preservatives and Perseverance" or "How I Almost Went Crazy"

  1. you crack me up!!! wait, am I laughing at your pain?? that's not what I meant to do… but I sure hope Q feels much better soon!!!! and that you get to take another un-eventful trip to the zoo in the near future!!


  2. Thanks guys. It started in the morning as a runny nose and cough, and I debated about sneaking him into child care, but then I didn't want to do that to you guys…good thing I refrained! I did miss it though


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