Adventures of an Errand Runner Part 2

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered. ~G.K. Chesterton

Once upon a time there was a woman and she woke up to a house that only had two diapers, and that would not do. She wanted to sit and drink coffee in the luxury of her pajamas while little ones ran/creeped about her feet.

Instead, she took a shower, which is no small feat when there are small feet around (I know, I kill myself sometimes too). She loaded up her two squirmy boys into the car. She drove to Target.
With one arm, she pushed the cart, with the other she fended off incessant requests to look at toys. She made it to the diaper isle, and, feeling frugal she decided to try the store brand. Then she spent all the money she would have saved (and then some) on a basket with an embroidered liner. She is a sucker for embroidered birds on baskets.
Feeling generous and, what the heck she was out anyway, she took her boys to the park. Of course, she saw people she knew because, now that she thinks about it she skipped the shower part. She remembered the law of nature that requires that acquaintances see you when you go out in public looking like your driver’s license. If she had put on makeup, and maybe brushed her teeth, no one would have been around to see it.
The boys played and played and finally she took them home, ready for lunch and nap time. She unloaded the bird basket and made some sandwiches. Then, she went to grab a diaper. Um. Diaper. The thing she dragged herself to the store for. The thing she forgot in the cart because she was wrapped up in a love affair with a bird basket. What is she going to do with a bird basket anyway?
Diaper-less, she found a swim diaper from last summer that would fit the baby. Did anyone else know that swim diapers don’t hold pee pee? They are basically poo poo catchers. Trying again (WE CAN’T SKIP NAP TIME TO GO BUY MORE DIAPERS! NO! NO!), she found an old-school cloth diaper that she had used once as a burp cloth and lined another swim diaper. The children went to sleep.
She called her husband and confessed her ridiculousness and begged him to grab more diapers. He laughed. He was not surprised.
Moral of the story: Next time you try to save money by buying the store brand don’t buy a bird basket. Don’t go to the park. GO straight home with the single, boring, diaper purchase and thank your lucky stars that you made it.

7 thoughts on “Adventures of an Errand Runner Part 2

  1. Okay JoAnn, this is getting really spooky 'cause not only am I a sucker for anything embroidered with birds, but I also would've forgotten the diapers and, after confessing to the hubs, he would've laughed as well 'cause he's used to things like that with me, and he loves me anyway. I am only sorry now that you live on the opposite end of the country. Just think of the adventures we could have! 🙂

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  2. This is one of my new favorites…but I have to say: Kudos to you for enjoying the moment! The kids will never remember the diapers they wore or the cute bird basket…but they will remember that you took them to the park..even without a shower:)

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  3. Jodi: SERIOUSLY!
    Tamera: If only you would be my store buddy and make sure I only buy appropriate things, and then make sure I load them into the car…I feel like you would be good at that.

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  4. Is that a paid position?;)
    I can do that…although I fear I have you incredibly fooled. I once walked Sophie around the parking lot at Fashion Fair in the pouring rain because I had no idea where I had parked the car….we could just be the blind leading the blind…

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