Beetles, Burritos, and the Long Arm of the Law

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.” – Dave Barry
I had to go to my favorite mexican food restaurant today; I’ve been going there since high school. I don’t plan on stopping, I think they make their chips with real lard. Yummy.
Our waiter walked up to us, the same waiter that has been there since the beginning of time. He sees me and he screams. Literally.
“AHHHHHHH!” and for grander effect, he starts to wave his arms around. I smile weakly.
When you attend high school in a small town, no one forgets. Things don’t die with time. This waiter, he always screams when he sees me. He has been screaming for over ten years now.
You see, when I was in high school, I was a little wild and crazy. I was also in the Drama Club. After a dress rehearsal for “Don’t Rock the Boat”, we were all supposed to go to the pizza parlor for a Drama Club Party. The pizza parlor wasn’t open yet, it was dark and after-hours, and for whatever reason they weren’t expecting us. Like any self respecting group of high school students, we liked to suck the marrow out of life.
My friend had a Beetle with a sun roof, and we did the only logical thing there was to do. We drove donuts in the shopping center parking lot, and I happened to be hanging out of the sun roof with another friend, screaming and waving my arms like I was on a roller coaster. Innocent enough right?
Unfortunately, the Mexican food restaurant (the only one in town) was still open. Unfortunately a concerned citizen called the police. The waiter witnessed it all.
The maniacal driving. The screaming. The panic that ensued when the police showed up and threatened to arrest us for reckless driving.
And the waiter never forgot.
I don’t have a criminal record, but I do have an undying reputation that will probably haunt me as long as I have a taste for bean and cheese burritos.

2 thoughts on “Beetles, Burritos, and the Long Arm of the Law

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