"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya…"

“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” Helen Keller

I stumbled into bed, or at least, I tried to stumble. My collapse was stopped by a pair of giant-wooden-ninja-practice-swords that were folded across my side of bed. My husband slept peacefully on the weapon free side, which made me feel like he was to blame. He is, after all, the arms dealer of our house. I put the swords away (on the floor), I moved to my pillow, but a small furry object once again blocked my path. The dog had decided that my pillow would make a lovely napping spot, and I haven’t bathed her in weeks.

Lately the dog has suffered more injustices than just not being washed (who am I kidding? she revels in the smell of death and rotting flesh. Roadkill is her Chanel No. 5). Q has been continuing his quest to “get Snickers”. He thinks it’s great fun to chase the little dog around the house with turkey basters, bicycle pumps, and toy tractors. She spends her days napping with one eye warily open.
Sheldon would be smart to spend his days napping too, but instead he is crawling around and getting whacked in the head by a foam sword that his mother stupidly purchased for his older brother in a moment of insanity.
My house is full of danger, and weapons, smelly Yorkshire Terriers, and laughter. The thing is, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I guess I’ve always wanted to live an exciting life, full of danger. I thought about being an international spy, or a corporate executive. I ended up as a mother to boys.
The gift of today? Toy swords. They create a cheery chaos and a spirit of adventure. They’re also good for a laugh.
Today I’m linking up with Chatting at the Sky to unwrap the gift of today. What’s your gift?
tuesdays unwrapped at cats

17 thoughts on “"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya…"

  1. TOTALLY relate to the dog napping with one eye open. Our poor neglected maltese is stalked by my 17 month old all.day.long!
    And as far as the weapons…they would just turn wrapping paper to swords if you didn't supply them (trust me I know!).

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  2. I love how real this is! Sometimes in the middle of the night I awaken to the sound of a loud bang — the kids' books sliding off the end of my bed and onto the hardwood floor. And I, too, get to have “stuffie sleepovers.” And we've got nerf “guns” over here…courtesy of my father-in-law!

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  3. JoAnn, your posts are hilarious! I love reading them. You brought back a memory of mine involving swords and small children that I'll have to post about one day. Thanks for the laugh!

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  4. Ah yes… I feel your pain… we have 6 children and so often I fall into bed only to land on a toy of some sort… and plastic swords – what would alittle boy be without one…

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  5. This post is so funny. I can totally relate. My husband, in a moment of insanity, made little 8 inch swords out of wood for my son and daughter. My son who was 3 at the time carried it everywhere — including into Wal-mart where he caught his sister unaware (and without her sword). Unfortunately she's prone to nose bleeds… Staff members came running and offered ice packs as she bled on the merchandise I hadn't yet bought (and then spent the night scrubbing).

    PS: Anybody want a peanut?

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  6. C- I have no idea where the peanut comment is coming from, but I'll just roll with it. What a funny story! You should blog about it of course!
    Jae: SIX?
    Dale: No probl. I'm a sucker for green grass in spring

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