Confessions Over Calamine Lotion and Brownies

I haven’t posted for a few days. Just a few days, but my mom has been missing my eloquent and moving posts. Actually, she told me to write another post because she likes to “read the comments”.

I guess you people are the best part of the blog to her…and my stellar writing is merely a catalyst to amazing notes from people my mom doesn’t know. At least I know my place.
So here’s a new post, and here’s hoping my mom gets lots of exciting comments to read.
Why haven’t I been blogging you ask (mom)? Weeelll…I’ve been in a bad mood. I don’t like to document my bad moods, I prefer to remember myself as a singing, dancing, Julie Andrews type with a strange sense of humor. I especially don’t like to document my bad moods when I don’t know WHY I’m in a bad mood because that just makes me crazy…or as the half-eaten batch of brownies would accuse: hormonal.
Okay, so for the past few days, I’ve been trying to get out of my funk, and I have now pretty much escaped the depths of despair (although there was a minor relapse tonight when I realized my plant had died. I know. My life is rough), so here’s a list of things I’ve been doing to snap out of it:
– Make and eat a batch of chocolate chunk brownies.
– Repeat over and over, “A light shines in the darkness and the darkness does not overcome it”…nothing like paraphrasing bible verses when you’re too lazy to look them up. Amazingly, the paraphrased version still works and I believe it.
-Get a hair cut. I’m an emotional hair-cutter…luckily this was a good one.
– Clean out and organize my car. Such satisfaction in finding and disposing of three moldy sippy cups buried under the seat.
-visit my mom and take naps and read the Smithsonian while she takes the boys for walks around the farm and makes comments like, “Parenting is for the young”.
-have a birthday party for a one year old and make a ridiculous hat for him to wear.
All these things helped keep me from crying hysterically over little annoyances. I felt fragile, and instead of wallowing, I carried on and tried to do things that would bring me back to a glass-half-full mentality. But these things didn’t help my sense of humor, they just kept me from panicking.
“Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?”
Supposing it didn’t,” said Pooh.
After careful thought Piglet was comforted by this.”
-A. A. Milne

Then, last night, a turning point.
I went looking for face wash in someone’s spare bathroom and found a glass bottle of calamine lotion from when I was a child. The calamine was crusty pink and dried up into broken up chunks, and I found that to be HYSTERICAL. Laughing, I showed it to the someone who’s house I was in (protecting identities here). They were embarrassed that such a thing had been mummified in their cupboard. It was then I noticed the spider and hurriedly put down the bottle turned spider perch. THEN I noticed that the spider was a skeleton. A skeletal spider on a glass bottle of dried chunk-ed calamine.
Why is this funny? I’m not going to analyze it. It was sufficient to remind me that no matter how dismal life seems, there’s usually something to laugh about.
Oh, and I’ve learned some things about me these last few days that I’ll have to chew on. I’ve learned that being positive and happy is sometimes a choice, and sometimes it’s a very hard choice, and that’s where faith comes in. I’ve learned that I shouldn’t make brownies unless I plan on delivering them to a neighbor or buying bigger pants. It’s like my buddy (not really) Jack Johnson sings, “getting lost is never a waste of time”….
So this week, I lost my happy, and I’m not lost now, but I did forget to take a picture of the bottle that cracked my melancholy…I had someone keep it on display on the kitchen counter to remind me and everything. Oops.

13 thoughts on “Confessions Over Calamine Lotion and Brownies

  1. I just love your honesty. And aren't grandmas great for saving a Mama's sanity??

    And emotional haircutting?!?!?!! Oh J. You just kill me! Just one of the reasons I love you.

    P.S. Today was a crap-Meister day at the Horn home. So I can relate.


  2. It's been a rough kind of a week here too. We had a major scare with the Doodlebug and so I ate an entire pan of Chex treats (Rice Krispie treats but made with Chex) and most of a batch of cookies.

    The scare is over, my pants don't fit and I have a new bathing suit in the mail.

    Happiness is a choice, happiness is a choice, happiness is a choice…(chanting over and over).

    And of course, hi Grandma! 🙂


  3. I'm in desperate need of that bottle of calamine lotion. Been in a funk the past couple days. Don't know why. Nothing's terribly wrong (THANKFULLY). I'm just kind of “meh.”

    Glad your week is picking up, though! 😉


  4. Oh, the pressure to come up with a fun and witty comment for your mama! The pressssssssurrrrrrrrrre!

    OK. Maybe I'll just stick with what I know: I related to every word of this post, except for maybe the skeletal spider, and I feel that my life can be complete without that particular nugget of understanding. You are right – Happiness IS a choice sometimes…sometimes we momentarily misplace our happy.

    As for me, I'm having one of those weekends where I'm just feeling burdened. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, because I'm feeling weighed down by things that are worthy of being carried around for a while, but I just keep catching myself wandering off to la-la land. I can't shake it.

    Maybe you should have delivered your brownies to me?


  5. I will play Scramble to get out of a bad mood. Mostly, I need to walk away from the computer and take the dog out. Watching Law and Order helps too


  6. Hi JoAnn's mom, I love reading youer daughter's posts. She is talented, honest and funny. I'm having a sad week myself over here, so reading her posts has saved me from a pan of brownies 🙂


  7. *Waving* to JoAnn's mom. (And you too JoAnn, I guess — seeing as it is your blog).

    I'm in a funk too… I obviously need some of your brownies or else some calayours (if you'll lend it to me).


  8. You lost your happy!
    Oh. I love that.
    Not that you lost your happy, but that you found it again. Sometimes I have weeks like that. I just cry at everything. Earlier this school year when I was realizing how OLD my kid was I was a mess. For weeks. I just could not snap out of it. I am glad that the calamine lotion did the trick for you. That is certainly not something you see every day! A petrified spider!
    Hi to your Mama! : ) I am glad your parents read your blog. My parents are not such huge blogging fans… darn it!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s