Adventures and Math Problems

So we are trying to move, but first we are trying to sell our house and second we are trying to find a coastal town we like/does not cost a million dollars to live at, and third we are trying to figure out what portion of a million dollars we are willing to spend if we do find a coastal town we like/does not cost a million dollars to live at.

In that spirit, Derrick and I decided to take a little road trip to the coast to check out our options.
It is a drive that reminds me of South Dakota, but without the Wall Drug. In other words, there is nothing to look at except fields. I will admit there are hilly mountains, which is more than South Dakota can say for itself, but it was still really boring. We filled the time by listening to Dave Matthews too many times and by talking about finances.
Derrick (the math genius): “So those types of loans only require 3% down but then you have to pay PMI’s. So if you bought a house for say, $300,000 you only have to pay 3%.”
Me: “Wow! You only have to pay $3,000? That’s so cheap!”
Derrick: “Mmm. Uh. 3% of $300,000 is $9,000…but, you were close. HA.”
And this, friends, is why you never want to invite me over to balance your checkbook.
So we visited towns. I got a little carsick. I ate too much clam chowder. I found ONE mostly expensive cute coastal town that I would not mind living in. Then, we decided to go home instead of staying to enjoy the beauty of the crashing waves at sunset.
We were trying to save money, so we opted out of a hotel stay. We turned our little Honda back towards the hills and said goodbye to cool weather and sea air. We started to talk about houses, and finances, and I finally learned what a PMI is, and why we don’t really want one.
Deep in conversation, I glance out the window and notice that we are…NOT going the right way. We drove 10-20 minutes past our turn off. We turned around and went back, and I made Derrick stop and buy me a soda, because I was exhausted. I asked him if he was going to get gas, and he said, “Not here, it’s debit only”. Some people are obsessed with 3% rewards on their card I guess.
We got back on the road, and started driving through Nowhere’s-ville again. Cows walked by, the tall grasses waved in the setting sun. Derrick kept talking about “options and percents” and I was lulled into a stupor from the math talk. Me no likey math talk.
“AHH! We forgot to get gas!”
Folks, we were in the middle of nothing with a red line on our gas tank. I said we should turn around, the nearest gas station was a half an hour away if we kept driving and I was pretty sure that going back would bring us closer to civilization. My husband decided to drive on. He turned off the air conditioning. It got dark.
We started to approach the rolling hills and my cell phone service went out. I started laughing, and screamed, “We’re on an ADVENTURE!”
Derrick said, “You’re just excited because you have something to write about on your blog. Are you wanting to blow a tire too?”

“No! I’m not getting paid to write on this thing! I’m not crazy. Mild funny is all I’m going for here.”
Five minutes later, we climbed the hill, and I started to perspire because the car had gotten HOT. As we descended, Derrick put the car into neutral. I stopped laughing and started to chew on my straw.
I am happy to report: Thanks to Derrick’s “green” driving and stellar skills, we made it to the gas station.
The end.
Wait! I almost forgot the gratuitous picture of Derrick that I like to post whenever I talk about him!
Ahh! Much better.
The End.

18 thoughts on “Adventures and Math Problems

  1. LOL. Okay. At first I was bummed because there were no adorable pics on this post, but I trudged on and happy I did. You crack. me. up. Love the green driving skills – he rocks. Rather than screaming you're on an adventure, I would have gone for “We all gonna die and the vultures will eat us and NOBODY will know what happened!” I like drama.

    Did you find your dream home??

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  2. There's a word for the green driving, but I can't think of it off of the top of my head. I'm just like you when people talk about math & numbers: I get this glazed look in my eyes. I can conjugate the heck out of some verbs, but don't ask me to do any math!

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  3. Epic fail at mild funny. Mike and I nearly fell out of our chairs laughing. Quite frankly, I think you should be getting paid. I'd buy it no matter the cost. But I'll stop now 'cause me no likey math talk either 🙂

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  4. Try Grand Haven, Michigan. It's not coastal but does have water- and flowers.

    Green driving- very funny!

    My math skills are similar to yours. Unfortunately, I am in charge of the checkbook.

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  5. What an adventure! My husband tempts the gas gauge from time to time too. I'm glad you made it out alright and had a nice time exploring (and learning about math).

    I hope you find the place of your dreams…

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  6. Haha!! That sounds like a fun adventure. Hope you guys find somewhere fun to live. Think of me when you do… Troy's just will more than likely always be in PHX… when you miss the heat, you can come down for a visit!

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  7. Math is hard. I bought my husband a shirt that says that and it gets laughs and knowing nods every time he wears it. But for real, it is hard.
    The retelling of your adventure made me laugh. The picture at the end made me laugh harder.

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  8. That picture NEVER gets old. I laugh every time I see it! Did I ever say, “I wonder who got hit with that ball and are they speaking with a permanent stuttar??”
    Oh, the adventures that lie in “options”!
    I'm glad you guys made it out o.k. without breaking down and finding yourself in a horror movie with no cell phone reception…

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