The Clam Chowder Said "Moo"!

I’m Alliiiveee!

So I’ve survived strep, 2 year old projectile vomit, and two days with an Internet connection from 1993. I’m here to tell you that all that talk about moving to the coast….may just be hogwash at this point. We probably aren’t going to move.
My local friends: you can stop sitting outside the city gates wearing sackcloth and ashes. I’m staying. Probably.
What happened you ask? Well, in the spirit of adventure and such, work stuff happened. I can’t really talk about it, not because it’s mysterious, but because it’s boring. Let’s just skip the details and say we are staying put.
Derrick called me this week while he was at a work thing. I was lying on the couch, exhausted from my Strep throat bout. Q was on the cusp of surprising us all with projectile vomit. We started to talk about our future, sans beach living.
“So, we aren’t going for sure probably almost now?” I asked (because with us, you never know).
“Yeah, it’s pretty much a done deal that we’re staying, but I was thinking, let’s leave the house on the market. If we sell it we can move to the country, and I can ask your dad about drip systems and we can plant a few fruit trees. I can buy a tractor and a disk. It would only take about an afternoon to disk five acres, “ Derrick mused.
“What!?” I respond calmly, “Fruit trees? Five acres? A tractor? Do you realize how much work…”
“No no, fruit trees aren’t a lot of work, unless you’re a perfectionist. I’ll just prune them from time to time and put in a drip system. We’ll have fresh fruit! Hey, don’t start telling me how to grow my fruit trees, because that will take all the fun out of it.”
I sighed, “Oh-kay, you can keep your hypothetical fruit trees. I’m too tired to think about farming…”
Derrick interjected, “No no! It’s not farming, it’s just five acres or so. You could have a huge vegetable garden, with a bunch of chickens! We could even get a cow!”

“A COW!?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll do all this stuff. It’ll be my hobby,” he reassured.
“You are going to milk a COW every morning before you go to work?” I wondered, slightly amazed.
“Oh, you have to milk them once a day? Never mind then…but I still want fruit trees.”
I calmly picked up my glass of water and said, “Honey, you can have as many fruit trees as you want, but I need to go to sleep now and stop talking, because my throat hurts and I’m exhausted.”
“Thanks babe, for my fruit trees. Get better soon,” Derrick said (I could hear the excitement in his voice over his imaginary fruit trees, and I would have worried but I was too sick).
Does this look like a farmer to you?
tee hee.
And that my friends, is how we go from coastal living to cow farming in the course of a week.
Basically, I have no idea what’s going on over here, I’m just glad we don’t own a cow (um, yet).
…and I think I’m done with the cow comments. Maybe.
…Moo.

14 thoughts on “The Clam Chowder Said "Moo"!

  1. I'm dictating for Dad,
    “Dear Derrick,
    Long ago, JoAnn had to help me move sprinkler pipe in cotton. It was hot, it was humid, it was miserable. And she had to go to the bathroom… in the cotton….I'll never forget, she looked at me and said, “I”M NEVER GOING TO MARRY A FARMER!” So for the sake of your marriage, buy a boat.”

    Like

  2. That is a funny story! I'll bet your parents are glad you won't be moving to the coast. I tell you… the heat of summer makes you dream about far away lands that are cooler and have lots of grass or waves :o)

    By the way, that picture of Derrick is now burned on my brain!

    Like

  3. I think this is my new favorite beautifully constructed sentence: “So, we aren't going for sure probably almost now?” Really sort of captures the essence of life. And, cows are always funny.

    Like

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