Major News That Matters And A Bunch That Doesn’t

So, since I have started receiving emails asking if I am alive still, I guess it’s time to post. Please, don’t call the police. Or, um, my emergency contact. I am still here. Alive, and well…alive.

I had this poetic post written in my head, but then I fell asleep and forgot the whole thing, so you are stuck with a very unpoetical announcement.
I am Pregnant. With a capital “P”.
And as such, I am Sick. Sick with a capital “S”.
In my spare time, I sleep. And eat. And I sleep. I think I have gained six pounds so far, and I am only 10 weeks along.
Yesterday I had my ultrasound. Do you want to know what you should say to an ultrasound tech if you want to sound really dumb? You say, “Oh wow! There’s a baby in there.”
Yes, self. There is a baby in there.
I know I should post a picture of my ultrasound. That would require…effort. And, it’s six minutes past my bedtime already. Let’s just say it is super adorable, like a gummy bear. It was waving it’s little gummy bear arms, doing windmills. It was bouncing around. It was having a dance party or a P90X session, or something.
It is a very busy gummy bear.
Did I mention that I have been sick? I have snuck onto the computer from time to time and lurked faithfully on my favorite blogs. If I was feeling super ambitious, I might even write a comment. Usually I would just read though. So, now is the time for me to come out and say that the Lumberjack’s Wife blog, which I read faithfully, has been killing me.
Every post I have read has made me gag. First it was dead animals, then barf, then elk meat, then pig butchering. It has become an ultimate sport for me to click on her new posts. Thanks Taylor, for the excitement. So, if you all want to laugh and be grossed out, go read Taylor’s blog. The girlfriend has a Fear Factor-esque life…and she’s hilarious.
Was this post too whiny? Let me just announce that I am very, very excited about baby number three. I am super happy. I am enjoying my naps, and my crackers. I am daydreaming about the Second Trimester. I am trying to think of cute baby names.
I got nothing as far as baby names go. Pubert.
Oh brain.
My brain.
It is not cooperating.
I don’t want to torture everyone with pregnancy brain fueled blog posts.
Because of my absence, you have been spared from reading posts that dealt with memory foam mattresses.
I slept on one at my Mother-in-Law’s house. It makes you sink, lower, and lower, until you have made a mold of yourself. I made a mold of a slightly-out-of-shape-pregnant-lady-who-shouldn’t-be-showing-already-but-even-so-can’t-button-her-pants. I also dreamed that I was sleeping on a marshmallow.
See? Wasn’t that riveting?
Or, how about the post that I wrote one night when I had a chest cold. It was going to be titled, “How Come On Nights When You Cough So Hard You Puke A Little You Inevitably Ate Chili Beans For Dinner?”
I will spare you.
Now I have forgotten what my point is. So, I will try to write from time to time to time. I miss writing. I miss having the energy to wear makeup too. Oh, and I miss cleaning my house. Sort of.
I’ll be back. With gummy bear pictures and a happy face.
p.s. Today Derrick made dinner, he rocks the house AND the party.
Because raw meat…I can’t even go on…ewwww. Anyway he made meatballs from Pioneer Woman’s website. He was reading the directions and shouted, “Hey! I like this woman!”
To which I said, “So does everyone else, which is why she makes almost a million dollars blogging”.
To which he said, “You should be the Cow Lady or something! You should post recipes and stuff! Be like her!”
So, here is my recipe:
Go to Sonic. Buy me a Cherry Limeade drink. Bring it to me. Repeat as necessary.
Because, that’s what I’ve been cooking lately.
p.p.s. I am reading, but not writing. If I am writing, I am writing slightly incoherent stuff (Pubert?), so I will probably stink at responding. I am sorry. I am busy sleeping. And eating. And gagging when I read Lumberjack’s Wife. I do love reading everything you guys write. I really, really do.

37 thoughts on “Major News That Matters And A Bunch That Doesn’t

  1. Seriously….I miss you guys. Move back to Fresno already. Only a few weeks away, but it is still too long.

    Oh yeah…I am so excited about your gummy bear.


  2. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    This news is way exciting.
    Thanks for the blog mention! 🙂
    My blog really has been gross lately, as has been my real life.
    I disgust myself. Know that you are not alone.

    For 2.3 seconds today, I felt like I wanted a new baby.


  3. Congrats to you! Exciting news! I have missed your funny blog but since I am too lazy to even commit to a blog, I do not judge 🙂 LJW kills me too. She is funny and her life is amusing. I think I found her through you. And again I must reiterate how much I love the husband picture. Epic!
    PS I would buy your cookbook.


  4. Yay for baby number three! Hold off on the naming until your brain starts working again, OK? Your baby will thank you.

    I love your recipe! Hilarious.

    Why do we bloggers feel if we don't respond to every single commenter they will wipe their hands of us and never venture to our blog again? Is that true? I would hope not. Take your time. We're here…lurking or commenting.


  5. Wow! So excited for you. And I guess since you've got a legitimately cool reason for not blogging, I can probably forgive you for not providing me with riveting and insightful reading on a daily basis. Probably. In any case, be well. Continue to think funny thoughts (even if you're too nauseated to type them out on your keyboard.) Congratulations to you, Ostrich girl and dodgeball-man husband, and happiest of Thanksgvings! Blessings.


  6. Squeal of pure delight!!!!!

    do whatever you feel like.. you are growing a baby!!

    oh my . Congratulations to you and your family. A giving thanks indeed.

    ~ I've been thinking of adding a food component to my blog, would pics of a bloody lamb roast or mussels in a curry cream sauce be okay? 🙂


  7. Congratulations!! Wow – that IS exciting news!!
    I hope you start feeling better soon…I remember the blahs of the early days of pregnancy.

    On another note, I'm so happy to hear that someone else composes blog posts in their head at night. I thought I was losing my mind. Of course, mine always seem to witty and insightful when I'm drifting off to sleep and then I can never remember them the next morning. Which is probably just as well.

    Pubert. LOVE it!

    Feel better soon, and congratulations!


  8. Congratulations fellow crazy woman!! I'm SO happy for you….well, not for your sickness, but for what the sickness stands for. And for what the tight pants stand for, too. You'll be enjoying this little one in no time at all and you'll actually look back on this and say “Hey! that wasn't so bad afterall….I think I'll have 10 more!” Or maybe not.



  9. So glad to hear from you. I just pictured you not blogging as much because you were busy moving in, not moving in and having morning sickness.

    Congratulations on the new little one!!


  10. You should make a million dollars for your ability to make people fall off their chairs laughing! So SO happy for you – congratulations to you, Derrick, and the big brothers-to-be. Miss you lots. Take care. xox


  11. First and foremost – CONGRATULATIONS! Woohoo for #3!

    Second – Yay for you blogging again!

    Third – This post made me laugh! Sorry to laugh at your misery but I'm so glad you're hanging on to your wicked sense of humor! I'd bring you a Cherry Limeade everyday if I could to make up for my laughing. (but you have to admit it's funny stuff here!)

    Fourth (for good measure) – my least favorite pregnancy comment with #3 – “Oh I hope you get a girl this time!” Because we know how horrid it would be to have three boys! 🙂


  12. Congratulations to you and the fam on your little Gummy Bear! What a blessing…

    Sorry to hear that you are sick. I recall being sick a lot, but it's all a distant memory now… Hoping that your sickness will become a distant memory soon…

    Raw meat yucks me out even when I'm not pregnant. I told my husband before he married me that I was a vegetarian cook. I eat meat, but do not cook it. He married me with full knowledge so too bad for him, right?

    Glad you're making a come back.


  13. You're preggers?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!! I'm shocked and stunned.


    (Don't you always feel bad for the guy who STILL doesn't know that congratulations isn't spelled with a “d”?)

    And let me change your life with just two words: Cranberry Limeade.


  14. congrats!!! i laughed at this sympathy from one preggo to another. and the sonic recipe? it's a classic. (except mine's a cranberry limeade. i fyou haven't had one, you may never go back!)
    i hope it's good news that i'm 3 wks further than you and i feel fine again?
    i love your space here so i can't wait for you to be “back” but i more than understand!!


  15. oh, wow, girlfriend. between you and Em, my husband is going to start commandeering my Google Reader to prevent any wild ideas from forming in my head.

    i am so stinkin' happy for you … and happy for us, for i am sure (in the glorious 2nd trimester, perhaps) we are in for some hilarious preggers posting.


  16. YAY! Congrats! I hadn't seen you at my place lately but I just thought, you know, you'd finally realized I'm a freak and kicked me off The Google Reader.

    Anyway – I'm SO excited and thrilled for you! I hope you feel better soon. I stayed off the internet when I was pg with my first. Words made me nauseous. As did air.


  17. congratulations! i am really excited for you. i smiled through this entire post, although that's not unusual. i typically do when i read your posts, but still, extra smiles for the baby!


  18. girl! congratulations!! so happy for you and wishing you speedy transfer from this trimester to the next. and for the record, i lost most of my brain function during my second preganancy (15 yrs ago) and still havent recovered it. 😉


  19. Waaaaaaa! This is huge and big and exciting news!!!! So glad I stopped by this morning (it's 3:30 a.m., don't ask). And this post CRACKED ME UP — laughing at 3:30 a.m. is no small feat.


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