“And how are you?” said Winnie-the-Pooh.
Eeyore shook his head from side to side.
“Not very how,” he said. “I don’t seem to have felt at all how for a long time.”
-Winnie-the-Pooh by A.A. Milne
Do you ever have those days where everything seems to be exploding and jumping the rails and breaking and spilling and running out of gas? You can’t figure it out how you’re going to survive the day without loosing your mind, so you stop figuring. You grab your sanity and cling to it like a giant rubber ducky in a giant bathtub.
Today was one of those days. I haven’t figured out the moral of today but I made it through, and I ended the evening washing two Oreo cookie mustaches off my sweet little boys so there’s that.
I woke up this morning confident I would achieve my life long goal to make it to Bible Study on time. It’s nice to be on time, especially when you’re the group leader. I even dared to fantasize about a leisurely cup of Chai before heading out.
Five minutes before we all walked out the door, Mayhem broke loose and crawled in my ear.
(Disclaimer: this is not Mayhem. This is my friend’s son who is coming over for a sleep over tomorrow night, and aren’t we all excited?!)
There was a last minute poopy diaper.
Q’s second pair of shoes disappeared. His first pair were sitting in plain sight, but they were soaked from an impromptu puddle jump the night before.
The dog ran away.
Time ticked by and soon I was shoeless, dogless, and running late; it was time to problem solve.
I would have taken Q in his socks but it was raining so I called my friend to borrow some size 10 shoes. Does anyone else have a friend that calls them at 8 a.m. to borrow toddler shoes? I thought not.
I decided the dog could travel to Canada and back for all I cared, I was leaving. However, when I opened the door the dog came running inside. A Christmas Miracle!
She smelled weird. Actually she smelled awful, but I was LEAVING the house no matter what. However, as the kids piled into the car, I spotted it by the flowerbed.
At first I thought it was an old, grey, garden glove.
It was not a glove. It was a very dead squirrel.
I started to scream and cry, it was seriously disgusting. It didn’t even have HAIR anymore.
Q asked me why I was crying and I laughed and screamed, “I’m not crying, I’M FREAKING OUT!”
I called Derrick to report the roadkill and, um, freak out.
“I can’t go to bible study,” I sobbed, “I have to stay home and make sure Snickers (the dog) doesn’t roll on the carpet or sleep on a blanket! AHHHHHH!!!!”
“Put her in the garage,” he replied reasonably, “I will take care of the squirrel when I come home.”
I listened to reason, garaged the dog, and rushed off to borrow some shoes.
I arrived at bible study ten minutes late and ultimately lost my bible.
Who loses their bible at bible study? Who borrows shoes?
I went home and Q promptly dropped an entire cup of apple juice on the recently mopped floor. I washed the dog and scrubbed the dog and guess what? The dog still stinks.
So that was my day. How was yours?
Since I’m so full of glad tidings today, remember when I had a rockstar chicken that turned into a rooster and went back to my mom’s chicken coop? Peaky the Rooster has passed on. He died a tragic death today. More on that tomorrow. I didn’t think it was fair to his memory to group him in with the grey hairless squirrel. He will get his own post. A Chicken Memoriam. Who’s excited?