Shingles and Spiders

First of all, what’s for dinner? Because I have no idea. I should probably go defrost something right now.

I woke up this morning to the DOORBELL, which is disconcerting when you have morning hair.
Luckily Derrick was there to shove out of bed, he doesn’t have to worry about making his hair look presentable.
It was the roofers, and they promptly started to rip the really old, leaky shake roof that currently covers our home. There was a lotta noise. There is still a lotta noise, so Q is not taking a nap, he is watching a feature length cartoon. Sheldon can sleep through anything, as this hammering cacophony can attest.
I was really excited about a new roof. I think it’s the whole, “Hi, I’m Pregnant” thing, but fixing up stuff and making things fresh and pretty (even the roof) really excites me.
I was not so excited to see giant piles of shingle all over my flowerbed. Suddenly our “salad bowl” full of lettuce and chives was a woodpile. Where were my snapdragons? What had become of my impatiens?
I may have cried.
A little.
So then Derrick (who was home for lunch) went outside and started taking the shingle off of the flowers, which I found embarrassing and romantic. I also saw him talking to the roofer and I can just IMAGINE what he was saying…”Hi, uh, my wife is hormonal, and she’s currently weeping over the remains of that iris poppy over there…so, can you guys try to throw stuff in a more organized manner?”
I just saw the foreman hand-picking shingles off of my azalea bush. I think I’m gonna have to buy everyone donuts tomorrow.
Speaking of crazy hormonal activities, last night at about 10:30, I was unable to sleep owing to the Karate Kid that I seem to have growing in my belly, and I suddenly remembered something VERY important.
“Derrick! There’s a spider egg sack in the spare room window. Wake up! I think it was a black widow egg sack.”
He mumbled something about smashing it. I was like, “NO I DID NOT SMASH IT!?! I don’t smash spider-ish things. I told you about it on Sunday, and I just now remembered that YOU didn’t smash it. “
To which he replied helpfully, “You need to smash those things! The baby spiders will hatch and crawl all over the place, you have to smash those things if you see them!”
Now that I was thinking about a million tiny black widows, crawling all over the house in my sleep, I asked him nicely, “Please go kill it. What if they come in our room while we’re sleeping? THEY COULD HATCH TONIGHT! I can’t sleep. I’m freaking out.”
“Really? Yeah. They’re going to crawl into our room,” he said, and then I heard a huffy sigh.
Five seconds later I heard some grumbling coming from the spare room…something about lint.
Yeah.
I woke Derrick up to kill a piece of fluff.
In other news, Q has an eye infection from a drive-by finger poke produced by Sheldon. We were at the doctor for two hours to get some eye drops, and guess who is Anti-Eye Drops? Q. So three times a day he freaks out, and I’m just hoping that one of the drops makes it onto his eyeball.
Sheldon has started swimming lessons, and spent the first one screaming “NOOOO! NOOOO!” hysterically. My proudest moment was when he started throwing the pool toys the instructor was trying to distract him with.
Q has progressed in swim lessons from trying to scream and kick his way to freedom. Now he spends a lot of time negotiating his terms. Instead of jumping on the count of three, he wants to jump on the count of five. Instead of four more kicks, how about two more? I see a future in litigation for him.
I think next week will be more relaxing, less noisy, less infected and generally quiet. All of our activities are cancelled because of Easter vacation, the roof will be done, and I will enjoy having lots of time to fix up my garden, check my email, and take naps. Until then, I might go lay down on the couch.

23 thoughts on “Shingles and Spiders

  1. Thanks for the heads up- I'm pregnant, the roof estimators rang the doorbell this morning AND they will most certainly begin working right around the time MY flower beds all decide to finally poke through the inches of snow. I will try to spare myself the crying that you had to endure by building my irises their own bomb shelter.

    Your sacrifice was not in vain.

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  2. ooh so glad for the piece of lint and not a spider sack. John likes to set them on fire with a lighter; he's afraid smashing them might let some wee ones escape (and it's more fun). I think our roof is in for some new shingles too, hopefully…if the insurance company will cooperate. Very sweet about your husband and the flowers. 😉

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  3. I'm glad it was just lint too. Oh and I was thinking of shingles the disease so this is much better… Although your flowers may not see it from that point of view…

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  4. Ah, pregnancy hormones…my husband doesn't miss mine! haha – hang in there, girl!
    Your spider scene reminded me of a chapter of a kids' book called Operation:Dump the Chump. It's a must read for your boys when they are about nine or ten.

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  5. I can't even begin to tell you how hard I laughed at you dragging your husband out of bed late at night to kill the poisonous lintball. I totally needed that. And I'm not a fan of eyedrops either, so I'm sending Q a virtual fistbump of solidarity.

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  6. First, crazy doorbell! Is that on your house? Love it. Second, Derrick's an awesome husband. Third, I now have even more admiration for you. I wouldn't have cried a little when the roofers threw shingles on my garden. I would have flipped. There might have been some random drive-by rooftop eye-poking.

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  7. Flush the spider sack..ick they crep me out. I encountered 2 mice in my little camper while starting the clean up. I may or may not have screamed like a jr.high boy. I need donuts.

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  8. Is there a kid on the planet who will take eye drops with equanimity? Add ear drops into the mix and my kids go berserk.

    I'd rather face an egg sack of black widows.

    Almost.

    Good luck with the new roof, my little nesting friend.

    And the naps. Good luck with the naps, for sure.

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  9. Due to my intense phobia of spiders, I can't cope knowing there's something out there, lurking in the dark waiting to crawl in my mouth and/or bite me, either. SO, on the other hand, will not kill them for me unless he finds them exceptionally gross. Instead, he will CATCH them and let them go outside. Um, hello?? They came in here for a reason; you think they won't be back?!?

    Ugh. *shudder*

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  10. I would have probably freaked if the roofers carelessly threw shingles on my garden, too – though, I don't have a garden, and our roof is not being done. I still sympathize with you, though! 😀

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  11. Ok, so the first thing I thought of when I saw the headline was shingles, as in the disease. My hub just had it for 2 months, so we are shingles-obsessed around here. Glad to know you were referring to the roof. We had our roof done two summers ago — I am still finding pieces of shingles in my flowerbeds, so I think Derrick has his work cut out for him.

    Hey, I wrote about succulents on the blog today — a post inspired by our email conversation. Thanks for the creative fodder!

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  12. like i have said before we should live next door to each other! last week i made my husband come home from work to get a bee that had made it into the lounge ( i was locked in the kitchen with all the kids in terror!) he raced home to tell me it was dead already! oops! xxx love the fluff spider nest and the man that got up in the night to get it! xxx

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