Consider the Moon

There is such loneliness in that gold.
The moon of the nights is not the moon
Whom the first Adam saw. The long centuries
Of human vigil have filled her
With ancient lament. Look at her. She is your mirror.
The Moon
Jorge luis Borges

Lately, I’ve been projecting light.

But I’m as a moon; pale and weak and full of shadows.
You could say I’ve been “mooning about”.

I haven’t been blazing like the sun, I haven’t been a flame.
I’ve only been a moonbeam, surrounded by dark feelings that don’t have names and don’t deserve names. My only shine is caused by another light source, reflected by me.
Knowing my dependency makes me desperate for light, for flames.
Sometimes during my day, the clouds move in and it seems like all darkness and thunderstorms. Sometimes I feel invisible, or exhausted.
When I think about God, and Jesus, and the Light I Am Supposed to Be Shining, I think maybe I should be brighter.
I think I should be able to keep my patience when small boys run through swept up piles of dirt, faster than my dustpan.
In the past, when these thoughts would come, I would try to set myself on fire, I would wrap myself in tin foil, I would do anything to be shiny-er and brighter and more radiant.
But it’s not about me doing.
It’s about me finding.
So I run for light and I find it in rambling rosebushes and Spring evenings. I find it in words and The Word and friends and jelly beans.
The grace part of this? The power and plenitude of the light. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness does not overcome it.

19 thoughts on “Consider the Moon

  1. It's not about me doing, it's about me finding. That's totally where I'm at right now too. I found you through Emily Freeman, and I see you're a kindred spirit too. Love your reading list on the right as well. Thank you for what you shared here. May your reflection of Him be bright and unhindered!


  2. “So I run for light…” You know, those four words are so simple. And yet, so many of us just keep trying to shine brighter (or beating ourselves up for failing to do so).

    Have a beautiful Easter weekend celebration, friend.

    And now, I just have to write this for when Jodi checks in, “A-a-a-a-n-d dance by the light of the moon…”


  3. 2 things:
    1. I love the cloud picture. I feel like I could reach out and touch their fluffines.
    2. Have you heeard the Sarah Groves song on a similar theme – God being the sun and her the moon with no light of her own? This beautiful post reminded me of it.


  4. “The grace part of this? The power and plenitude of the light. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness does not overcome it.”

    Amen. And sometimes I wonder if the times when we feel our light is the dimmest are actually the times when His light is shining brighter, His grace is overcoming.


  5. I love how you have captured your feelings and experiences of late in such a creative way….you have such a wonderful talent and beautiful spirit! I hope that you have a wonderful and “bright” Easter weekend! 🙂


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