The Bemusing Muse

I was going to write about my weekend, which involved trees and rocks, raindrops and rainbow trout. However, when I went to upload pictures for the sweet little story I was going to tell, I found about fifty self portraits from my little sister:

What the what?
I believe, when one is gifted with such a large quantity of weirdness, the proper thing to do is to say “Thank You”.
I will give her my thanks in the form of an embarrassing story that involves underwear.
The fish story will have to wait until another day. My muse has spoken.
We grew up on a farm, and on the hot days when the sidewalk would blister bare feet, my mother would hang the laundry on the line. For whatever reason, my sister had ran out of underwear, and picked a fresh pair off the line.
She went inside and proceeded to get dressed. She threw on her sports bra, warm from the summer sun. She threw on her shirt. She started to walk out the door, but she felt something…something itchy and crawly.
She smacked at the itch and peered down her shirt. A grasshopper lay against her armpit, flattened against her skin, dead.
He never knew what hit him.
There are two lessons to be gleaned from this tale. One: always check your undergarments before putting them on. There might be bugs in them. Two: It’s not super wise to leave weird pictures on your big sister’s computer…especially if she has a blog.
p.s. I love you Stine Bean. 😉
UPDATE: My sister just called. She said I got it all wrong…it was a LIZARD not a grasshopper. AHAHAHHAHHAHHA! Dying. of. Laughter.

16 thoughts on “The Bemusing Muse

  1. Your sister is too kind, providing this kind of entertainment for all of us. Once, while showering after a day at the beach, I found a sand eel inside my bathing suit. Neither my husband nor son will admit to putting it there, although both had spent the day catching them and feeding them to seagulls. Good thing no one who knows that story has written about it on the internet.

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  2. Oh my word, this is hysterical. I've been reading blog posts for the last hour and this tops it all! This is my style for sure. I can't remember how I found your blog but I'm so glad I did! This made my day. Still laughing as I sign off.

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  3. Reading this makes me miss you three cousins! Funny how all six of us are spread all over this country. Thanks for the post and all the great memories growing up with you gals. Tell Christina hi.

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