When Coffee Doesn’t Cut It

This morning I planted flowers in my pajamas. With a burned and blistered index finger, I touched all things tenderly and wiped mud on my bathrobe.

Twenty minutes later I was drinking sugared coffee and the silence led me to the Under-Four’s, digging enthusiastically. I didn’t know it, but the Snapdragons wanted to be in a cozy place in the flower bed.

He asked me why they’re called “beds”.
I don’t know, and soon we all fight about swings and turns. At one point, I sent my husband an email that simply said, “Your plan is not working.” (we had discussed discipline issues the night before and he had come up with a plan…that was not working).
Inside I slam the phone alone because no one is listening, and then I deal with guilt for a mid morning snack. When I return to reality, half the Cheez Its have been eaten, straight from the box. So we Play Doh.
The baby poops in a chair and the brown ooze sludges all over like toxic gunk, but I scoop up the baby and sing M.C. Hammer. I wash the One Who Has Found His Hands, and he stares at me as I try to navigate wrinkles.
They are un-navigatable.
I hope for the best and at least he smells good. The middle one starts crying in the middle of Mr. Jeremy Fisher because he needs a tent. My coffee is cold, and I have a tummy ache anyway, and my eyes are tired, and everything is stinky and whiny…even me.
I eat spaghetti at 1 p.m. and hope the carbs get me through till 4 p.m., and maybe one more cup of coffee…
My friend sent me a message of trials, big trials. She said she was “living by the Spirit alone” and I laugh and tell her that I have been “living by coffee alone”.
I sit exhausted, wearing my Slytherin shirt (because I have a soft spot for bad guys) and reflect on the morning.
Today is a day for Spirit living.
I pray with my eyes open (otherwise I’ll fall asleep), and it’s a simple, tired prayer: “Help”.

9 thoughts on “When Coffee Doesn’t Cut It

  1. Any day when the coffee gets cold is not going to be a good day. So thankful the Spirit groans in our weaknesses. I utter the same prayer often.

    You seriously have a Slytherin t-shirt? You are a rock star of popular culture. Hugs.

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  2. Tobin is a doll. Aww poop detail. I stuck my hand in it just the other day. Today I am washing puke clothes b/c Annie's washer died and Ollie had a tummy prob.
    I'll drink cold coffee if I can have spaghetti for lunch. I miss white carbs 😦

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  3. THAT was my day (minus the flowerbeds and we were semi-poop-incident-free here) – but I was cranky and impatient, mostly with my own kids b/c someone else is paying me to be kind and patient with theirs, and I gotta get it out somehow, right? Poor Bubby. I prayed Jesus, HELP at a few diferent moments. And miraculously lunch was pretty calm (because I opted for the hot dogs for all menu), naps did not overlap enough to give me one, but everyone woke up happy, and Bubby was good …. until my client came to get her kids and he decided to stand on the coffee table and slam things. Oh well.
    Baby Tobin is so sweet in that picture – how could he possibly ever do something so nasty for his mama to clean up?

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  4. If it makes you feel any better, I fussed at Clementine for a very long time, this afternoon, for dumping all the balls and overturning the ball pit AGAIN. I tried to guilt her as I packed up the balls and Cade squeezed all the air out of the (inflatable pool) ball pit: telling her how sad that Charleigh, who loves her ball-pit birthday prez, will no longer be able to play w/ it b/c Clementine won't obey Mommy, and Mommy is tired of picking up balls. I mean, I gave her up and down and sideways. When I finally stopped, she looked at her sister and said: “Charleigh! You can't play with the ball pit anymore!,” and it was clear to me that all of my words were in vain. So. There's that.

    I tried to send you this Polar Bear thing on fb. It's the animated Coca-Cola Bear, talking “bear talk” and offering a coupon for $.99 off a bottle of Coke, and I got to make up my own message for you, which said something like: “Just thinking your boys might enjoy Coke breath when they're getting their faces licked for relocating your snap dragons.” But I kept getting error messages that the Coke bear likes things clean…like I was some sort of perv or something. Maybe it was “Coke,” or maybe “breath,” or “faces licked.” I changed words around until my message was accepted, but then I got an error message that you don't accept wall posts on fb. So, too bad. But I was thinking of you and trying to provide refreshment.

    B/c I love ya like that.

    Longest. Comment. Eva.

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  5. oh, you write it funny but i know it's not, really. not when you're bone tired and trying not to lose it. i've said it before and i'll say it again, “help” is one of the very best prayers one can ever pray. may you receive help, in abundance.

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  6. funny, how we'll miss all of this when it's gone. well, that's what i tell myself anyway 🙂 cutest baby picture EVER! and you're not alone sister. if that helps. i'm sitting here drinking cold coffee with you.

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