When Life Is Hard And Full of Pool Noodles

Adventures are not all pony-rides in May-sunshine.” 
 J.R.R. Tolkien

A mother’s mental stability is tested when she takes her small one to the pediatrician, and today was my day of testing. It was all the fun you can imagine, and the best part was when the Nurse Practitioner, “Nurse Antsy”(as my son calls her, because her name is Nancy) showed up and said, “Do you feel alright? You look very pale.”

She wasn’t talking the three year old.

 To be honest I don’t feel so great.  I woke up at 3 a.m. Now is the season for pesky mosquito bites and my children equate mosquito bite pain with an appendectomy. I feel like I could nap on command. There is calamine lotion under my fingernails.

Nurse Antsy demanded I take iron supplements and said something about me needing more attention than my child. I guess my lips are too pale.

I stumbled out of there, feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t even get a sticker.

After the pediatrician’s I did the only thing a pale, worn out mother can do: I took three boys to Target to do some shopping. Among my other adventures, my house is being invaded by moths. I needed some moth stuff. I went with cedar chips, because I’m not ready to jump into the dark and stinky world of mothballs.

So there I was, driving a red cart right before lunch time. My children were ticking time bombs and the sippy cup was empty when I noticed that the toys were 50-70% off. I did the only thing I could do, and bought all my Christmas presents now, in July.

I have a lot of relations, so the cart was full before you could say “Reindeer”. I stumbled to the register, carrying a baby with one shoe, pushing a cart that was topped with toys, followed by two boys who were hitting each other with pool noodles and yelling, “QWACK, QWACK!”

I felt a little crazy.

I usually feel a little crazy.

I think crazy is a normal feeling for a Mommy, that glorious stage of Motherhood when nobody calls you “Mother” but plenty of people are calling you, “I WANT MILK!”

The key to success is to feel crazy but not act crazy.

Sometimes I think I must have everything together; smooth and silky. My children have to be perfect or at least NOT FUSSY. Perhaps we all have ideals about how a pool noodle should be used in a public space. It’s okay to have feelings. It’s okay to be upset when your kids are about to take out the entire Hotwheels section with a piece of foam. It’s okay to feel crazy.

I think if your kid uses a pool noodle in an unauthorized way while you’re trying to do Christmas Shopping in July, you can chalk it up to life and smile as you plan on eating ice cream at nap time. Because life is never happy, perfect, smooth and silky ALL the time. And that’s okay.

The End.

 (If you want more ostrich wisdom on a regular basis, consider subscribing to my blog. Then you get an email when I write. It’s like a personal letter from me, except less exciting, not very personal, and I save on postage. Check it out on the top right of this page. It says subscribe. Don’t worry if you can’t figure it out. My mother probably can’t figure it out either. I bet it takes her a few days AT LEAST before she finds out I’ve started blogging again.)

12 thoughts on “When Life Is Hard And Full of Pool Noodles

  1. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! do you want one of my toenails? Cause you can have one…maybe even my whole pinky toe if you write regularly. And guess what….I get to meet Emily W this week…want to come to Canada? I think it would all be more relaxed for me if your kid was hitting my kid with a pool noodle? Just a thought. My kid would be more than happy to hit your kid if you would feel more comfortable with that?
    big sloppy blogland hug,
    PS…DId I mention I am happy you blogged? Missed you.


  2. A friend saw a picture of a chocolate-ice-cream-covered Charleigh on my fb the other day and said how great it is that I let my kids be kids and make a mess. And what I want to know is: does any of us mommies have a choice? I mean, maybe, if she has one child. But if she has 2 children, or 3, or 3.5, or more, she doesn't have a choice. It's chill or plan to be institutionalized. Some days, I chill better than others (probably b/c some days are easier, w/ the kids, than ever). But nothing is ever NOT messy.


  3. Hello, you… I've been thinking about you. Take care of yourself, okay? I don't like hearing that you look pale. (Once a doctor told me that I looked pale, and I told him, “I feel pale!”) Eat a steak or a hamburger or something. Or spinach. Isn't spinach high in iron? As for moths, they give me the heebie jeebies. We had a bad moth infestation a few years ago, and my daughter's favorite sweater and part of a throw rug were eaten before we knew it. It was AWFUL! So now the mere sight of a single, tiny, fluttering creature in my house sends me on a mission to destroy. I'm seeing entirely too many of them inside, this summer, and I'm starting to get really nervous…

    I hope the ice cream was extra good. I hope it had fudge sauce on top, at the very least.


  4. I love that Tolkein quote!! Take a nap. You've earned it. And one day you will read this back and you will smile. You'll remember more of the sweetness and less of the tired : )


  5. I laughed at the “but plenty of people are calling you, I WANT MILK!” because that just happened like 20 minutes ago here.

    Hope you're feeling better. Crazy can be exhausting.

    Welcome back!


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