Pirates and Mr. Smith’s Parenting Tips

Things I’ve been told today by Captain Jackson Barrow:

“Pirates don’t eat SANDWICHES! AHHHHHH!”

and my favorite so far:

“PIRATES ALWAYS bother you when you’re going potty! AHHHH!”

If only everyone could spend a Friday afternoon with a pirate. A pirate with handcuffs. A pirate who’s name is based on a 4 year old’s interpretation of “Captain Jack Sparrow”. I love it when kids mishear names and phrases. I never correct them. So sue me.

There was time Q saw Cars 2 and insisted for weeks that “Finn McMissile, British Intelligence” was actually pronounced “Finn McMissile, Petition Elvis”.

OH! And the time (yesterday) I was flipping through radio stations and “I’m Sexy and I Know It” came on. Immediately Q asked me to leave it, because he loves that song. I turned it off and asked him why he loved it (quietly having a heart attack).

He said, “It’s the song from Smurfs 2, I saw it on a commercial.”

I cursed the Smurfs who put me in this precarious situation, trying to figure out how to explain WHY we didn’t listen to “I’m Sexy And I Know It” during Kindergarten carpool. My explanations were vague and Q asked me, “WHY is “I’m Flexy and I Know It” inappropriate?”

It took everything within me not to reply, “When you’re flexy, you don’t want to brag about it, even if you know it.” But I didn’t because I was afraid I’d have to define the word “flexy.”

Instead I turned the radio back on, and the song was over (SCORE!). Q sighed and said, “We MISSED it because you were talking the whole time.”

Who said filibustering is just for Congress?

In other news, Kindergarten Open House was this week. Good times. I tried to represent the family by putting on makeup and wearing clean clothes, although Derrick said that if I wanted to REPRESENT our family I should just wear a shirt with a stain and put sand on my butt. I chose to take the road of smoke and mirrors. At least for now. Sweatpants come later…around Thanksgiving if I’m lucky.

By looking at class projects I learned that Q’s favorite food is, “Secret” and his favorite animal is “eagle”. He’s two steps away from becoming Napoleon Dynamite.

When I stopped by Shel’s Pre-K class and asked how he was doing they offered, “Well, he likes to dress up.”

No.

Kidding.

3 thoughts on “Pirates and Mr. Smith’s Parenting Tips

  1. I had a radio challenge this week too. We were listening to the news and they reported that band had been thrown out of a country due to one of its members putting that country's flag in his pants. My son laughed about all the way home.

    Like

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