This week has been strange. Strange enough for me to think, “GEEZE I need to write this down!” and guess what? I’m writing it down.
It started with the piano. It needed tuning (I knew this because my piano tuner sent me a text reminding me it was time). And so he came, with his box of piano tuning tools, his snowy white hair and spectacles. As he walked to the Yamaha he paused and said, “I’m lucky to be here. I almost died.” Then he calmly unbuttoned his shirt and showed off a seven inch scar across his chest. The kids were impressed.
It’s difficult to think of an appropriate response to a piano tuner who barely made it. Not only was there heart surgery, I guess he also had a reaction to his blood thinner so he was in ICU for a month or two. I literally had no idea where to take the conversation but he didn’t seem to mind. It was a reminder that people want to be heard, and don’t care much if you have a witty response to their near death experience.
The next funny thing that happened this week started with a generic invitation to go walking with some friends. Then it evolved into walking the mall (due to warm temperatures). I have personally never walked a mall but I prepared by shoving a five dollar bill in my workout pants in case I wanted a pretzel. Imagine how I felt when I discovered I was the only woman walking the mall without a fanny pack. One gal had a vintage beige fanny pack that’s probably in style again, the other had a magnetic fanny pack. Magnetic. Fanny. Pack. I had no idea they existed. Anyway, I walked a solid two miles around the mall and found a library kiosk at the end so it was fun. Fanny filled fun.
Finally, there was Thursday. The day I went to a local museum to see some art and a poet who shall remain nameless. In fact, I can’t even tell you what happened because I’m afraid of Internet ghosts but let’s just say it was weird. Don’t worry, I had a taco to console myself.
P.S. Unfortunately Derrick has gotten his hands on an Amazon Echo Dot (Disclaimer: I’m not important enough for this to be a paid post). It was super fun for a bit, then the children figured out that they could constantly ask Alexa to play “Everything Is Awesome” and “Shake, Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty”. This means I wake up in the morning and hear KC and The Sunshine Band before I drink any coffee.
This also means that Derrick has discovered the manly joy of bluetooth-ing our whole house. Suddenly he’s redecorating my house and putting wireless speakers all over the place. Rambling about voice activated security and light switches constantly, it’s really hard for me to focus on his conversation topics, but he’s happy. Personally I have just taken to yelling at Alexa like I do my children. For example, a few minutes ago Derrick asked her to play the Eagles and when he left the room I simply yelled, “ALEXA! NO!”
I think she hates me.
So that’s my weekly recap. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. Tell me, have you ever gone walking in the mall with a fanny pack? Did this happen before or after the 1980’s?