Today I Burn Bridges With My Relatives

Last night it rained, wildly pounding the roof and the gutters. The tree branches swayed and bent and the sky was weeping when I went to the bathroom at 3 a.m. Then, the sprinklers came on. We conserve water here, if nothing else. But seriously though, I wouldn't want my weeds to be thirsty.I suppose … Continue reading Today I Burn Bridges With My Relatives

It’s A Purple Moustache World

I told you my winter is gray, but I was lying.Don't look so shocked I noticed the colors today, after I stumbled from my bed and blindly poured cereal and determined justly who was getting the Spiderman bowl. I noticed the colors when I noticed the oranges on the table and decided to squeeze some. I'm … Continue reading It’s A Purple Moustache World

An Update…Hopefully I Haven’t Done Something Illegal…

You guys, today was touch and go.I don't know what that means exactly, probably because it's a sports metaphor (right?), but that's what today was. Touch. And. Go.People were crying, there was pinching, there was faux biting (just threats, no teeth)(not me! the KIDS!)(okay, I was crying...inside).Disclaimer: It's not a real gun. I'm not sure … Continue reading An Update…Hopefully I Haven’t Done Something Illegal…

The Cricket and the Ice Cream Cone

When it gets dark and quiet, and all the world sleeps, I am awake. I look out my window and see the moon, almost full and almost bright, illuminating the passing clouds and shining down on my street, my house, and my cricket.The cricket sings outside my bedroom window and in the middle-night hours when … Continue reading The Cricket and the Ice Cream Cone

Orange Juice And Other Painful Matters

It's how the orange feels when it's being pressed against the juicer.I am a small person, with a thin skin, and I don't like to be pressed. But is there any other way to make orange juice besides squeezing the orange?I avoid the hospital, for various reasons. The gowns, the smells, the medication, the monitors, … Continue reading Orange Juice And Other Painful Matters

Why Christians Should Know How to Party

I'll be honest, I think the Easter Bunny is ridiculous. Aside from the fact that I have been unable to find any connection to a giant egg laying bunny and the real occurrences of the Easter/Passover season, what is with a Bunny LAYING EGGS that are candy filled OR hard boiled?Bunnies are mammals.Despite these affronts … Continue reading Why Christians Should Know How to Party