I smell like swimming pools and Marc Jacobs perfume. I have a horrible cold in August and a roll on perfume thing. So I'd roll it on and think, "I don't smell anything. Is it broken?" and then roll again just for good measure. Ten minutes later my nose started working again and I was overpowered … Continue reading Joyful Noises and Head Colds
We travel behind the tomato truck. It's hot, it's August, and the tomatoes are orange. The weeds along the lane are yellow now, crispy and golden like cornflakes.The children fall asleep at the first turn, leaving their mother to admire the wispy cornfields growing green, competing with the walnut trees in the other field. The … Continue reading Summer, I Bid You Achoo!
The gift for today is: APHIDS!"What?" you ask,' Those hideous microscopic green things that eat roses and plants and all things beautiful? The insects that leave holes and mucus wherever they roam?"Example A (my sad little tomato plant):Yes, yes. Aphids. Aphids are today's gift, because "There can be no good news without bad news. We … Continue reading I Like Bugs! I Like Bugs!
"Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous." -Willy Wonka and the Chocolate FactoryOnce, many years ago, I ran out of checks. I asked my buddy, who works at my bank, to order some more checks for me. My buddy and I have been friends for a long time, I trusted him. I requested special … Continue reading Birthday Stories of the Random Persuasion
Clean Plate Tickets: they were invented by my Grandpa, the handsome devil below...however I think I must give some credit to Grandma, who made Clean Plate Tickets a necessity.(aren't they cute? Hi Grandma, Hi Grandpa!)I was one of those kids who would gag and even vomit when a vegetable crossed my lips. My mother tried … Continue reading The Ice Cream Way to Vegetable Consumption